A Reawakening Heart

I used to take pictures all the time. I would often pull off to the side of the road when I saw something that lit me up inside. 

When my kids were younger and rode in the car with me more often, they became very familiar with this. When it was a foggy day, they knew I was going to pull over when I had a chance to. 

Sometimes they would even text me a picture of something that they knew I would have taken a picture of if I saw it, too. 

Somewhere along the way over the past few years, though, the part of me that would light up when I saw something just quietly disappeared. 

I would feel so frustrated that I could be walking through the woods or see a sunrise or sunset and feel nothing. 

Nothing. 

Until recently…

My heart feels stirred lately. It’s been difficult to find words to express what this feels like. It’s almost like there are parts of my heart that are re-awakening. Like part of my heart is illuminated and saying, “I’m here! Do you see me?” with great anticipation of being seen after being silent for the longest time. 

That can often be a scary thing for me, but it doesn’t feel scary this time. It feels the same as when you know you have someone listen to you…truly listen…and you know that while your words might sound jumbled up, it flows much easier when you know there is a safe place for them to land. 

That’s what I am experiencing lately with my heart and the part of me where words are finally beginning to flow again. The part of me that slowly got buried along the way. It’s starting to re-emerge. Not for others…not to perform…not for me to do anything “constructive” with…just to be expressed as I give it a safe place to land. 

Yesterday my daughter (who is learning how to drive) was driving, and the road we were on turned into a local road that had not yet been plowed. It had snowed a few inches the night before, and she was suddenly getting a crash course in how to drive in the snow. This was great practice, except there were cars behind us with people who did not want to go so slow. 

I thought it might be better if we pulled off for a moment to let the cars pass by so she could continue without feeling rushed. 

As she pulled over, I glanced over to my right and saw this! 

I instantaneously lit up inside (which is something I haven’t felt in forever). Something finally grabbed my attention again like it used to. I quickly took this picture before we got back on the road again. Amazingly enough, this is unedited and truly resembles how it looked for me when I saw it. 

I am so thankful for a heart that is re-awakening.