How is Your Oxygen Supply?

Imagine this scenario…

You finally decide to set aside a little time to do something healthy for yourself, because you know you need to start taking care of yourself better. You have intended to do this forever, and you’re so glad that you are finally going to make it happen. 

That same day, someone asks you to help them with something, and this activity would directly conflict with the timing of when you had put “self-care” on your (mental or physical) calendar. 

Suddenly, it feels like you need to choose between taking care of yourself and helping someone else. 

How would you normally handle this kind of situation?

It would probably depend on the type of relationship you have with this person.

Maybe you have always said yes to this person, and saying “no” would cause you to feel selfish, guilty, or afraid of how they might react.

Many of us have been taught (directly or indirectly) that helping others is more important than taking care of ourselves. This belief tells us that if it comes down to someone else or us, we should always choose the other person. 

Certainly, it depends on the relationship (parent/child, employer/employee, etc.) but I want to propose another way of looking at this.

When we continually help people at the expense of caring for ourselves (whatever that may look like) this is not truly loving the other person, and it’s also not loving ourselves.

Recently I was sitting next to a man and his toddler on a plane. The stewardess stopped at our row and specifically told him that if we needed oxygen masks at any time during the flight, he should put one on himself, first. Then his son.

I have heard this many times, as you may have, but it hit me differently that day when I was watching the little boy play with his toys next to me as she said that.

In reality, if an emergency would have happened on the plane and we would have all needed oxygen, this dad would have needed to put the mask on himself first in order to truly be able to help his son afterwards.

Although I know this is true, that would be very difficult for me to do. My instinct would be to help my child, first.

Am I saying that we should always put our own needs in front of others? No, most definitely not.

What I am saying is that if you put other people’s needs ahead of your own all the time, but repeatedly do not consider your own overall safety, health, and well-being first, you eventually won’t be able to effectively help anyone else.

We cannot effectively (long-term) help, serve, and love others well if we do not continually pay attention to our own oxygen supply, first. 

Self-care can be looked at as something selfish sometimes, but I have found:

• The more I take care of myself and prioritize my own wellbeing, the more energy and patience I actually have for others. 
• The more I prioritize time with God throughout each day, the more I am able to give to others (emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually).
• The more I pay attention to and prioritize what my body needs, the more strength I have to do what I need to do each day.
• The more I rest when I need to, the quicker I feel replenished.

Putting on our own oxygen masks first may feel selfish sometimes, but it is what helps you and I have the strength and resilience we need to withstand what comes our way each day, and it is actually what gives us the ability to help someone else when they need it most.

• What activities come to mind that would represent an oxygen mask for you?
• Take an honest look…How is your current oxygen supply?
• What is one small step you can take this week to begin replenishing it?