Stepping Away From the People Pleasing Merry-Go-Round
“I wonder what would happen if I stepped off of the merry-go-round?”
I had never thought about it before. Sure, maybe in a fleeting moment, but not long enough to consider what would happen if I actually did.
The thought disturbed me but still lingered in my mind.
Each passing day, the music seemed louder, and the constant spinning started to wear on me. I wondered how this could be, because living on the merry-go-round was all I had ever known.
One day, as I stared off into the distance, I did the unthinkable.
I stepped off.
Actually, jumped is a better description.
I jumped off.
It took me a minute to get my bearings on the still, but steady, ground beneath me. I didn’t realize how much I had adapted to spinning around and around, until I stopped.
I started to walk, without any idea of where I was going. The further I went the quieter the music was behind me.
As I kept moving forward, away from the carnival music, I could finally hear the thoughts racing through my mind.
“Will they be angry with me for stepping off of the merry-go-round?“
My heart ached. Not because of what I was walking away from, but because of what I never had. The merry-go-round promised connection and purpose, but the further I walked away, the more clearly I saw it was an illusion.
Years ago I saw this quiet place off in the distance. It looked lonely, unfamiliar, and scary. It did feel like that at first, but now I have to say it is so peaceful and full of life. I am making new friends here. Friends who also jumped off the merry-go-round.
Performing is not necessary here. (I am still getting used to that.)
One of the best parts about life beyond the merry-go-round is I am finding it much easier to connect with the One who created me. The One who doesn’t ask me to perform in the carnival and pretend to be someone I am not.
He knows the real me and reflects this back to me all the time. He delights in me sitting quietly with Him every day, as my heart connects to His. Oh, this is what I needed. To live life from this place and to connect with others here, too.
This is what I was made for.
How about you?
