Where Did That Even Come From?
Recently I was listening to a podcast, and the host said something that really bothered me. I immediately felt agitated, and I paused the episode while my agitation continued to grow.
Then something interesting happened…
I could “hear” someone (who I have known for a long time) in my mind making critical comments about what I had just heard. I suddenly realized that the agitation I was feeling was due to how I thought this person would most likely react to that comment.
This wasn’t actually my agitation. It didn’t originate from me.
There was a script running in my head that wasn’t mine.
You know when you can just “hear” what someone in particular would say in a certain situation? (Sometimes this is good, depending on who it is!)
So often we can have thoughts, beliefs, feelings, opinions, judgments, fears, etc. that actually originated from someone else. This can run like an automatic script, over and over again in our minds. This can come from parents, siblings, teachers, significant others, or just about anyone who has influence in our lives.
If we hear these words often enough, at some point along the way we can start to believe them, and we can take on these negative or toxic beliefs as our own.
We can even rehearse critical words spoken over us as if they are our own thoughts, when they are not.
Sometimes these words can be so familiar that it’s hard to even recognize at first.
A few years ago, it would have taken me several days to figure out if those thoughts concerning the podcast episode actually originated from me or if it was from someone else.
I was surprised and sometimes alarmed at how much trouble I used to have, trying to tell the difference between how I truly felt about something vs. how I thought I was supposed to feel about something.
The more God continues to show me who He created me to be, the quicker I recognize situations like the one I mentioned with the podcast. The wonderful thing is, He has been so patient and kind in helping me see who I really am.
He has helped me identify what deeply matters to me, what I enjoy, what I’m passionate about, where it is important to set boundaries, my priorities, what He is calling me to, how to live my life for Him, etc.
These things matter, because it affects all of our decisions and how we live our lives on this earth.
The more we embrace our true identity, the more our responses will line up with our created design.
This is so much better than what we often unknowingly took on from someone else. Jesus can show you who you truly are, which is much better than who you have aspired to be or strived to be.
As Jesus continues to heal and refine you, layer after layer of what is not the real you will continue to fall off. Those thoughts, beliefs, opinions, fears, and judgments that actually belong to someone else can also start to stand out more to you as you wonder, “Where did that even come from?”
You can ask the Holy Spirit to show you anything you may have picked up from someone else that doesn’t line up with your God-given identity. (Even if it has felt like it for so long.)
Be encouraged! He can ever so gently show you what doesn’t match up with your true identity. He knows the real you, right now.
He can gently whisper to your heart who you really are.
There is so much healing and freedom in knowing and embracing who He created you to be.
